Scroll through any social media feed, and you’ll see it: the same beige-toned kitchen, the same clean girl aesthetic, the same hobbies everyone’s suddenly into—pottery last year, now it’s knitting. There’s nothing wrong with trying new things, but at what point does it become less about self-expression and more about fitting in?

Finding your authentic self in an era of curated personas and algorithm-approved personalities is harder than ever. The internet has become an assembly line of identities, with everyone swapping one sticker for another as soon as the next trend emerges. But what happens when you strip away the stickers? Who are you without the aesthetics, without the borrowed opinions, without the constant influence of what’s currently “in”?

The disappearance of TikTok comments for just a few hours was a perfect showcase of how deeply authenticity has eroded—people weren’t just watching videos, they were waiting for the comments to guide them in how they felt about what they were seeing.

How do you actually find your authenticity in a world that thrives on sameness?

1. Audit Your Influences

Take a hard look at what’s shaping your personality. Are you into something because you genuinely love it, or because you saw it on TikTok ? Are you dressing a certain way because it makes you feel confident, or because it’s something you added to your Pinterest?

Start paying attention to the things you consume: the music, the art, the books (or lack thereof). Before social media dictated taste, people discovered their style and identity through lived experiences—wandering through record stores, watching avant-garde films, getting lost in niche bookstores. Now, aesthetics are pre-packaged and served to you based on an algorithm’s assumption of who you are.

2. Sit With Your Own Thoughts (Yes, Really)

We live in a culture where there’s a constant need to fill silence. If we’re not scrolling, we’re listening to something. If we’re not listening, we’re consuming in some other way. But have you ever actually sat alone with your own thoughts long enough to see what naturally surfaces?

Take yourself on a solo date—without posting about it. Go for a long walk without music. Write in a journal without the expectation of it being aesthetically pleasing. You might be surprised by what starts to emerge when you let your mind wander without external influence.

3. Revisit What Lit You Up as a Kid

Before social media dictated what was cool, what were you naturally drawn to? Did you love drawing? Making up stories? Collecting weird little trinkets?

Childhood interests are often the rawest, most unfiltered reflections of who we are before we start molding ourselves to fit societal expectations. Reintroduce yourself to those old fascinations. You might find pieces of yourself that got buried under years of external influence. And do this without a timeframe – you’re not doing it for the thrill – you’re creating a new version of yourself so move intentionally.

4. Engage With Things That Don’t Have a Social Media Presence

Not everything needs to be documented or turned into a personal brand. Find a hobby that exists just for you, not for social media. Read a book you resonate with without it being something someone recommended on booktok. Listen to a band no one’s talking about. The more you engage with things outside of the internet’s feedback loop, the more you start to develop a taste that is truly your own.

5. Pay Attention to What Drains You vs. What Energizes You

Authenticity isn’t just about what you like—it’s also about how you feel when you’re around certain people, spaces, and conversations.

• Do you feel lighter or heavier after hanging out with certain friends?
• Does your current lifestyle excite you or exhaust you?
• Are you saying yes to things because you want to, or because you feel like you should?

Finding your authentic self requires brutal honesty. The more you let go of what doesn’t serve you, the clearer your path becomes.

Authenticity isn’t something you can buy, curate, or find in an aesthetic Pinterest board. It’s something you uncover by peeling back the layers of expectation, influence, and external validation. It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.

Now, go find out.